we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it's great music for shaving your balls
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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