okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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