I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Acid is not a monday night drug
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
