you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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