Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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