You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
