Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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