I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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