I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
