All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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