Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just high enough for therapy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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