she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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