Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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