even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
