I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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