do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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