you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
