the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
