Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
