Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
