Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
