So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize