I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
