just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
