Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
