Your tits are I can't wait for
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
