The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
