Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
