Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
