I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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