all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
