Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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