Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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