right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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