Jerry, you need to find god
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
