So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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