i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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