You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think your dad took our porno
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
