so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
