Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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  (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0
  Replies (34) Good night (2083) Bad night (658)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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  (402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8
  Replies (9) Good night (901) Bad night (2028)
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  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2289) Bad night (750)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

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  (904): Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada http://tfl.nu/l5wm
  Replies (414) Good night (7227) Bad night (2044)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

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  (306): When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vfit
  Replies (5) Good night (4383) Bad night (1300)
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  (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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  (+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe http://tfl.nu/lh72
  Replies (16) Good night (7869) Bad night (826)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

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  (360): Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall. http://tfl.nu/7ndl
  Replies (3) Good night (3501) Bad night (1347)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??

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  (908): I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off?? http://tfl.nu/r74o
  Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (1607)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
  Replies (2) Good night (1593) Bad night (823)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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  (651): I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy http://tfl.nu/d161
  Replies (18) Good night (2246) Bad night (865)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.

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  (651): I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents. http://tfl.nu/48zb
  Replies (18) Good night (923) Bad night (2398)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.

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  (214): As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight. http://tfl.nu/njgf
  Replies (7) Good night (2012) Bad night (612)
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  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1699) Bad night (444)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1093) Bad night (516)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater

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  (952): College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater http://tfl.nu/orlm
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (309)

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