Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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