Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low