You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
are you so shy because you have an std?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.