I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a