you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.