physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
