it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
