Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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