So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize