Cold hands, warm shart.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
