all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
