i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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