you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
