i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The best revenge is premature balding
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
