what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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