everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I love having hate sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
