I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
