dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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