Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
