hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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