so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
