I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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