My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
