You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
